Three things I have learned

I am not a boy, therefore, there are things that boys do that I will never understand..



All babies are cute, but fat babies are the best...


And don't be afraid to enjoy your food...

Kewpies

I will sleep when I want, where I want

Peeing in the can

Well, I haven't been on here lately for good reason. One kid is a lot of work, 2 kids are even more work and 4 kids - well, forget it. Plus, we are in the process of buying a house, I'm working my normal job and then cleaning houses on the side. Doesn't leave time for much. Although I know the days will come when I will look back on this time and remember when the baby was still a baby and Evan still a little man. I won't remember much about it, probably, because I swear I'm mentally deficient some days to the point I am lucky I don't wind up at work in my pj's b/c I was so busy getting everyone else ready that I forgot about myself. I probably will even laugh, in a few years, about the pee I poured on my feet today. Why would I knowingly pour pee on myself? I wouldn't. I dumped out the bathroom garbage can and in my mental slug forgot to put a bag back in. When I went to put in a fresh bag, there was something in the can, so I proceeded to dump that into the bag when I felt a shower upon my feet and legs. When looking upon the cream colored rug, I saw it was yellow liquid. Hmm...now, what could that be? One look at the 4 year old in the tub clued me in. He was staring straight at - his feet, and wouldn't look at me. So I asked him if he knew what that was, which he said - no. We had a talk about lying, and then he told me it was pee. What would posess him to pee in a garbage can when a perfectly good toilet is 2 inches from the can is beyond me. I chalk it up to the boy thing. I have to.

Stupid is as stupid does, I guess

I found an article in the local paper yesterday that really pissed me off. Seems some guy, who is licensed to carry a gun, shot a kid. Well, let's be clear here - the kid somehow wound up on this guy's porch with his own gun and wanted to rob him. So, the homeowner shot him. And the kid's cousin or somebody was quoted by the paper whining about how her cousin is now dead. Well, here's a big news flash - MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T BE OUT, CARRYING A GUN AND TRYING TO ROB PEOPLE! I am so sick of hearing all this crap about how sorry they feel for the kid. Do I think it's a good thing when people die, hell no! But, if you are out, robbing, carjacking, threatening people with guns, trying to shoot at cops, trying to run over cops, well, what do you think the chances are that you might get harmed yourself? It's a sad shame that there are kids as young as 11 or 12 years old out trying to be tough and needing a gun to prove it. But it's even more of a shame that people are up arms over innocent people trying to protect themselves, rather than asking what a kid is doing with a gun and how they can change that.

WTF?

I am sitting at work today and talking to the paralegal. We are chatting it up, and I turn around to look at her and there, sitting in the middle of the freaking office, is a mouse. I stop in midsentence, muttering "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" She follows my gaze to the floor, and the little shit is just sitting there, hovering, quivering, like he has no idea that we are even there. I mean, aren't mice supposed to run from humans? Not walk right into the middle of the f'ing floor and sit down? And then not even move after hearing our squeals? We both panic, not knowing what to do. This clearly falls under "Man's Job". We are not men. We decide to throw a box over top of it and see what happens. It doesn't move, it is trapped. We leave it there, figuring it will die or someone will get it - eventually. Just not us. I leave voicemail for the boss that we do not remember in our job descriptions the wording "pest control". What a little ballsy thing. I am crabby due to our shitty weather, which graced us with 80 degrees last week, only to f'ing snow on Easter, and yes, it's still shitty, although the snow has turned to rain instead. I get the boys from the sitter, get home, give Cole a bath, of course he graces me with a urine shower prior to being placed in the tub. After that , get him out, go to feed him, all is well until the burping period, when somehow he manages to puke not only all over my shoulder, but it slides down my chest right through my cleavage. It's not the best feeling in the world, of this I am sure.

Love those cheeks

The miracle of breastfeeding

I'm not going to get all sappy about how great it is to breastfeed your baby, I am just going to post two pictures and you can see for yourself what wonders it has done for me in , uh, two areas.....

Before:


After:

Yeah, it's too bad I can't keep them forever!

An average day

6am - Wake up , feel myself up to see which boob is fuller, unleash that boob, feed baby, count number of minutes i have to sleep from time he finishes to time I have to get up, never satisifed with the number..

7:30am - wake up, change diaper (on baby) put his vibrating seat in the bathroom, start water for shower, enter Evan, who pushes me out of the way saying "i gotta pee mommy". Take 1.5 second shower, or at least that is what it feels like. All the while peeking out to make sure that oh, evan didn't decide that he should pick up Cole and take him somewhere. Baby starts crying, i hastily get out of shower, forgetting that conditioner was never rinsed out of hair

7:45am - Evan wants to take a bath and doesn't understand my need to get dressed before i help him.

8:00am- try to dress evan while nursing cole. getting better at this

8:30 - off to babysitters with evan so i can work from home without interruption - well, without interruptions of an almost 4 year old, who has 20 questions about everything.

9am - try to log on to work email, something is wrong and i cannot get in. make coffee

9:15 - get into work email, then house phone rings.. remember while on phone i forgot to turn on the dryer...in 1.2 seconds forget about it again.

9:30-11:30 - baby time, changing, feeding, playing, rocking, etc.

12:00 - oh crap, forgot to put in the mailbox the mail i have been meaning to mail out the last 4 days. oh well, try again tomorrow

12:30 - oh yeah, i should do some work now that the baby is sleeping - as i stare at the couch and daydream about sleeping

12:35 - baby is crying, binky fell out. replace binky. back to work, oh wait, i didn't even start yet

1:00 - baby wants to eat. man this kid eats alot. maybe that is why he is getting 3 chins, and arm and leg rolls.

2ish - oops, must of dozed off after finished feeding Cole. oh well. try to sleep a little longer, that way I'll be more productive this afternoon - yeah, that sounds about right.

2:20 - guess he doesn't want to sleep.

2:30 - ok, time for the swing, that should buy me about 15 minutes to do work.

2:40 - or maybe he'll just puke all over himself and the swing, and then on me. strip down baby, swing, myself. realize i never turned on dryer and hence have no clean bra. not wearing one is not an option, as they have ballooned up to mammoth size and feel like i am carrying a 5 lb weight on each side. stay in wet, dirty clothes until dryer finishes it's cycle.

3:40 - ahh, clean bra, clean shirt. heaven. wait, did i eat lunch yet? nope, and so a grilled cheese seems easy enough.

3:45 - why isn't this grilled cheese cooking? check stove - forgot to turn on burner. that would explain it.

4:00 - Oh yeah, work. let's see here, ok, feed baby so maybe he'll sleep. and then work.

4:45 - ok, baby sleeping, might as well throw in some laundry, put the dishes away and reload the dishwasher, fold the clothes from the dryer, run the vacuum, just really quick.

5:30 - justin home from work. evan home from sitter. time to make dinner. forgot to get key ingredients for dinner while at grocery store other day. damn brain farts.

6:30 - after dinner cleanup, try to do something with evan so he doesn't feel left out and unimportant since new baby came home.

7:30 - tired, so so tired. baby hungry again. evan wants to play some more. i just want sleep, lots and lots of uninterrupted sleep.

8:30 - bargin with evan about bedtime.

9:30 - evan yelling from his room MOMMY. run to see what the emergency is. he is thristy. make deal about how much water he can have, since we don't want a pee filled bed in the middle of the night.

9:45 - evan yelling again. he is hungry this time. make peanut butter bread, and of course, needs something else to drink as peanut butter makes him thirsty.

10:15 - justin has nerve to wink at me and say ' you ready for me baby'? huh. not quite.

10:30 - feed baby, pretend that tonight he will sleep for 4 hour stretches just to make myself feel better.

10:35 - in bed

10:36 sleeping

11:30 - baby awake and hungry

1:00 - wake, whip out boob, feed, burp, repeat with other boob. change diaper. briefly wonder if it would benefit me to wear diapers also, it would save me the precious sleep time it takes me to make my twice nightly trips to the bathroom. think about recent astronaut story. decide to forego diaper wearing for now. worry about bills, think of work that didn't get done. fall back asleep.

3:00 - repeat

4:30- repeat

6:00 - start it all over again..

But, when I look at these two - i realize i wouldn't have it any other way

Welcome, Cole Alexander....

January 4, 2007
6:15pm
6lb 1 oz, 19-1/2 inches

Darling baby boy, I am so glad you are here!!

Labor was induced at 2:05pm, he was born 4 hours later.

I'm a lucky, lucky, lucky girl.

Waiting and waiting

39 weeks and counting...Evan came at 39 weeks - but isn't your second kid supposed to come earlier or did someone tell me that just to make me feel better? They are talking about inducing on Friday b/c they think he is small and something about the placenta not functioning to capacity... hoping he'll decide to move out in the next few days b/c don't want to be induced. Would rather let him come out on his own, but apparently he doesn't feel the need! Wondering how small or not he'll be - doesn't feel small as I carry him around at all. Evan was only 6lb2oz, pretty small, and he was healthy. Well, guess even if he decides not to go on his own, I know by the end of the week I'll have a new baby boy!