Front porch episode...

Well, went out with my friend Jo on Friday night. Girls night out... whoo hoo!! We had a blast, it helped, I think, that she had 4 martinis prior to meeting me. A good friend of hers that I had never met, came to the bar to meet us a little while into the night. An hour or so after she got there, and after Jo's 3 more martinis, we decided to go somewhere else. Now, we decided to take only one car, and so we dropped off one at my house. This is where it gets interesting. We pull into the driveway, this girl that I had only met a few hours ago parks her car in my driveway. At that point, my husband comes out to ? "greet" us. Not seeing that there was a complete stranger in our driveway, he decides to moon us- and I don't mean a funny little, top of ass crack moon, I mean, a full on, pants at least down to his knees if not further, bending over as if for a rectal exam - FULL moon. This is not something a guy, under any circumstances, should do. If only I had a picture. The poor girl probably wanted to run back into her car and drive far, far away. Of course, he thought this was just about the funniest thing he had ever done. Quickly, we left. There was quite a bit of silence in the car, until Jo said, "what the FUCK was that?" I had no explanation. I mean, really, what could I say? It was rather funny the next day though, when I asked him if he remembered the girl in the driveway - which of course, he didn't. Turns out he went to high school with her. Now, that's pretty funny stuff. I also asked him when the next time he is going out, and bringing all his buddies to our house. Somehow, I don't think my bending butt ass naked over the porch railing will be quite as funny to him. But, fair is fair, right??

B.S.

I can't believe it's been 10 days since my last post - where the hell did that 10 days go? Busy as usual - today was a good day, went to court to watch a guy get sentenced for stealing a house. Don't know if anyone saw this story on the news - a guy lives in New York city, his parents live here in Shaker Heights. The parents are in ill health, the son comes in and moves them into assisted living. The father passes away, and the mother gets dementia. They move her to the Alzhemier's section of the home, and then she passes away. The son flies in from NYC with his family to bury his mother, drives by his parents home - and catches a full blown Christmas Party going on there - with people living in his parent's house that he doesn't know! It took years to unravel this all - and when it was all said and done, the house had been trashed, the guy who took over the house had an ESTATE sale and sold all of the parents belongings right out from underneath their son. It was a lot of work, a lot of research, and at least some small bit of satisfaction for me today watching the guy in court, and the judge sentencing him to a prison term of 4years 11 mos. Course, doesn't bring back the son's memories of his childhood years being destroyed or stolen. The jackass guy stands up in court today and says he had a drug problem and that's why he did it - I am so sick over people playing the drug card as an excuse - i mean, just like that Joseph Smith that killed that little girl in Florida - he said, oh I was high and I didn't know what I was doing, and I was depressed because my wife said she was leaving me - So, you go and kill a little girl? I mean, come on! What the fuck is that? Same with this guy - he said, oh my judgment was clouded b/c of the drugs - so clouded he managed to forge all kind of documents, transfer a $300,000 house into his name, put a renter in there, collect HUD money from the gov't, take out a mortgage on the place, hide money, etc. etc. - if that's how smart he is on drugs, I'd hate to see what he could do without them. &#@@*&#$)(@#*!!!!!

Kiddisms

Anyone who has read this blog, or ever spoken with me, knows the 'fach' story. So I won't go into that one, and if you haven't heard it, or read it, it's somewhere in this blog. It was Evan's birthday recently, and as he is only into Thomas the Train, he got many trains for his birthday - two of which are named Fergus and Butch. Not to him though, well, to him they are still Fergus and Butch, only when he names them, it comes out sounding like Fuckit and Bitch. I was having quite a fun time last night, asking him, over and over, "and who are these two again?" "Fuckit and Bitch". Wait, who? "fuckit, bitch". Too funny, and it reminded me of my niece, and how kids just don't know what they are saying sometimes. My niece was in kindergarten, and she was named Citizen of the Month - or something else equally important. As part of her 'citizenship' she got to have my sister come to class with her, and she got to stand up in front of the whole class and talk about herself and show pictures. The day before there happened to be a birthday party for my nephew, who had been living with my sister and my brother in law for only about 6 months, as they had adopted him. As part of trying to help him feel more comfortable, they invited his foster siblings. So, while the party was going on, my niece was playing with my nephew and his foster siblings. So, the next day in class, she has her photo album out. She is talking about everyone in the pictures, ie: this is my mom, this is my dad, and on and on. She gets to a picture with my nephew and his foster siblings - oh, this is my brother, and there's those fuckers. My sister, completed aghast, says "WHAT?" to which my niece sweetly replies, "here's my brother, and here's those fuckers." My sister was mortified and said she probably would have dropped dead on the spot right there, only my niece went on talking as if nothing happened. After apologizing to the teacher profusely, she asked my niece where she learned that word. Apparently, the foster kids used it frequently and as if they were calling one another something completely innocent, and my niece had no idea that it wasn't a word you use , you know, in place of, 'guys' or 'dudes'. I guess the teacher was very understanding, but it is now 6 years later, and we still have a good laugh over that one.